Sunday, August 4, 2013

August 3, 2013

I got to sleep in this morning which was pretty great. I was way behind on sleep thanks to an almost sunrise night at the bars with an early wake-up, followed by a late night at work. So sleep was needed.

I didn't really do anything with my day other than researching phones with the intention of dropping T-Mobile and going with Ting. Mainly to save, potentially, a crap-ton of money every month. Because Ting doesn't have set monthly plans, if I have another month where I get tired of my phone and don't talk and only text a little, my bill will reflect that and be tiny. It won't be seventy bucks regardless of my activity level.

And even though I still kind of dislike phones, I don't want a crappy one, so I am looking at the new Samsung Galaxy S4. A phone expensive enough that I could upgrade my computer into even more of a beast or buy a decent laptop for the same amount of money. But it is a really nice phone. I also like the Galaxy Note 2 but it is even more expensive. And next month the new one is supposed to come out. I just wish there was one phone. It would make the choice a lot easier if there wasn't really a choice. I'm still thinking about it. The lower monthly bill will offset the cost of the phone but that upfront cost sucks balls a bit.

Tonight I met up my friend again and we went down to the bars. It was a nice night, weather-wise, so we spent the first while sitting outside and just talking about stuff. Over the unnecessarily loud music. At some point my other friend stopped by on her way to work and we talked with her briefly. We will hopefully be getting together sometime next week to go shopping for new jeans for me. We have successfully purchased my last two rounds of jeans so I have high hopes at being successful once again.

Some time after that we met up with corduroy dude from the other night and another friend of his. Corduroy dude reminds me of the short dude from Workaholics and Pitch Perfect. His friend reminded me of a short Triple H with a military haircut. We got into a conversation early in the night about the child advocacy thing I do because he was really interested in it and wanted to do it but his work schedule is too erratic. He told me if I ever got into a situation where an abusive parent needed a more physical talking to, he would be available.

After awhile another group of corduroy dude's friends showed up. One of them was this small dude (150 lbs. but with a video on his phone showing proof that he can deadlift over 450 lbs, mostly with his back, and he's had two back surgeries, but still impressive) who is a sniper. He went to college and got a job in an OR as an X-Ray tech. Then he enlisted in the Army and became a sniper. He was giving corduroy dude crap saying he hadn't seen corduroy dude ever carrying more than a camelbak for a two day mission, when he, X-Ray dude, was completely loaded down with a full pack.

X-Ray dude introduced us to another guy, a big black dude, and told us a story of when they were at an outpost and they volunteered to take watch in one of the towers. When they were up there they got fired at and the big black dude leaned out the tower and fired back at the enemy with a giant .50 cal, one handed. And then they both got banned from the outpost because apparently they never fired back at the enemy at this outpost.

Later on everyone was supposed to be going to another bar down the street because some of the guys wanted to dance. So a group of them left but corduroy dude ended up at a table talking to two girls so my friend and I ended up sitting with them. Corduroy dude ended up getting up and leaving after a bit and my friend and I stayed, mainly just to see if he was coming back. The two girls seemed nice, and my friend kept the conversation going because I have no social skills and made no attempt to do anything beyond adding in a comment here and there, but my friend and I weren't really interested, and the girls weren't either, so we parted ways to search out corduroy dude.

We went to the bar across the street, then the bar down the street, then another bar where a girl my friend had been talking to earlier said she was going. In all of these bars there were one or two of the corduroy dude's friend group but not corduroy dude. And in the third bar there was a tiny dance floor with ridiculously loud dubstep and house music and people were packed in like sardines. It was entirely unpleasant. And the girl wasn't there. Or at least my friend didn't think she was because he couldn't actually remember what she looked like. Which I found kind of funny. After working our way through that mess, we ended up on a back patio, which connected to the back of the first bar we were at so we walked through there, and then headed back across the street as a last effort to see if we could find corduroy dude.

And we did. My friend wanted to make an attempt to talk to him and let him know that there were options out there for getting help and there wasn't any problem with seeking help. And corduroy dude definitely needs help because he has been out the past three nights, getting wasted to the point of barely being able to stand up, in remembrance of the death of his friends a year ago. By the time we caught up with him he was way too drunk to really listen to anything so my friend took corduroy dude's friend aside and talked to him about it. His friend understood where my friend was coming from but said it was the year anniversary of the deaths and corduroy dude was still working through it. Which is sad because getting blackout drunk and fixating on death isn't going to solve anything. While my friend was talking to that guy, I was with X-Ray dude and corduroy dude. X-Ray dude was telling him that if their friends were alive and he was dead, they would be celebrating his life and talking to girls, not getting completely trashed and belligerent, and then sent him off to talk to girls. Before following him he turned to me and said “Thank God I'm married... I probably cry myself to sleep three or four nights a week. And then there's Coozy.” So basically, this sniper is constantly struggling with the things he has been through but he has a wife to lean on. Corduroy dude has his friends but no one to really lean on and pour his heart out to. Or someone that can help him with his mental help, not just help him try to deaden his pain with alcohol.

It is tragic how open these guys are about the trouble they have dealing with their experiences on deployment, even with me who is a relative stranger to them, but they can excuse that openness by saying it's the alcohol, and won't actually seek professional help to work on making things better. There is still such a stigma around seeking help in the military and a lack of initiative in changing that. Ignoring the legacy of that stigma, there is also the fact that there just aren't enough resources out there. In a perfect world, talking to a psychiatrist or psychologist would be mandatory for anyone who goes on deployment, but there just aren't enough resources out there to help everyone who needs help. And that is true in the general population as well, but I would say we owe it to the men and women we ship overseas. The least we could do is take care of their mental health.

Hanging out with these guys tonight and Thursday has really made me interested in studying PTSD again. It is a lot harder to get into a graduate Psychology program than a Library Science program, and I still want to go into Library Science, but I think I might also try to apply to a couple Psychology programs, just to see. Can't hurt anyway. Either way, I need to start applying to graduate school. I've had all summer and have come up with other things to do. Pointless things. I need to do something with my life other than the same old things. I need to change things up and take steps to move my life forward. I've been stuck in the same rut for most of my twenties and I want nothing more than to get out of it.

And it is four o'clock in the morning once again so I need to stop typing. But I'll end on a lighter note. While I was talking to the guy earlier in the night about my volunteer work, two hot girls walked by behind me and the guy stopped me:

Guy: “Do you have a wife?”
Me: “No.”
Guy: “A girlfriend?”
Me: “No.”
Guy: “Fuck-buddy.”
Me: “No.”
Guy: “Want one? I'll be your wingman.”


I should have rolled with the opportunity and gone for it, if only for the story.  

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